Zen attitude

Your life as parents is rather similar to that of a minister. Between the daily routine and the difficult nights, we are often quickly on the verge of a nervous breakdown! Even for the quietest of us. It is therefore not always obvious to remain positive in difficult situations with our little ones!

Imagine coming back from work, you are tired, worn out and the only thing you want is a little quiet and silence, but your youngest one decides otherwise! You resort to anger only to realize that it will only bring more fatigue. Stay assured as the solutions to those intense moments are in hand. Let’s start by thinking of the word Zen.

Zen, is the art of living in harmony with oneself, it is the attitude to adopt during moments of conflict, and this method is not an art for nothing, it is so good that it’s definitely worth making an effort to achieve it. Once you recover your serenity, your child will feel calmed, free from his anger and anxieties. He will breathe more easily, and so will you. Allow me to offer some small tricks that can help and improve the situation. Channeling your emotions, fostering a climate of cocooning and serenity are the keys to achieving this zen attitude. That’s why you should turn your tongue three times in your mouth before screaming and breath. Inhale, then exhale, one two three times, you will see, you will already feel better! Come on, set aside your anger to make room for calm.

Control your mood

Sometimes, under the impact of emotions, we do things without thinking, and we end up feeling guilty. But there is no point in blaming yourself, this will make you even angrier, and will make things worse. On the contrary, any negative emotion against yourself will be felt by your child. Remember that you cannot always be the best in all situations. You can only be an example for your child.

Cultivate your calm and reduce noise

If you want your child to regain his serenity, you must set an example by staying calm. Everything you are going to do, feel, say, will influence him. Favorite an environment conducive to calm. Family life can sometimes be tiring. There are often a lot of noises, whether it’s the sound of the TV or the cell phones beeping. Try to turn off all these little noises once a week, to find a small bubble of calm.

Think twice before speaking

Remember that any word you are going to say will impact your child tremendously. Breathe calmly and count in your head before you start talking. Know that there are many ways to phrase thoughts and feedback.

Reassure your children and model serenity

What to do when your child is hyperactive and grumbles all day? First, leave your emotions aside and sit quietly beside him. Instead of responding to your child’s crying and anger, try to listen to the words and the tone of speaking; focus on your child. Refrain from giving your child a feedback. Try to mirror back to your child what they have just said to you. Sometimes words make more sense when they are mirrored back to us. Remember that listening means to remain silent while your child is speaking.

Feel free to offer your child to write down their emotions and then read it together later. Your child will find many of those emotions moot. Writing down emotions of the moment and checking them later is an excellent tactile exercise emotional regulations.

Give yourself a moment or two

While we live in a world of multitasking (working, running errands, staying in touch with teachers, and supervising homework time), it is sometimes good to be able to sit and do nothing. Find a time to be together. Time to hug, close your eyes for a few minutes or look each other in the eyes. In short, a moment full of sweetness and love.

Benjamin Mizrahi

Academic and Life Coach

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