Positive attention is the way you show delight in your child and warmth in your relationship through:
- smiling at your child
- making eye contact and using caring facial expressions
- being physically gentle and caring with your child
- using words to celebrate and encourage your child
- showing interest in your child’s interests, activities and achievements.
As a parent, we are pressured to teach our children all the right skills to succeed at school, with friends, and in life.
Teaching our children, the skills they need starts by deeply understanding and connecting with them.
Children connect with us and learn from us in the presence of a patient, empathic, gentle, and securely attached relationship.
Yes, they need boundaries, but they need a relationship with us first.
Over time, it’s important to give your child more positive attention than criticism or negative attention. If you can give your child positive attention most of the time, your child will have a strong sense of being secure and loved. This will also outweigh those occasional times when you feel frustrated or distracted, or you can’t give your child as much attention as you’d like.