While there’s always a good reason behind whining, in our hurry to shut it down, we may inadvertently miss what that is.
Sometimes children whine because they’re tired, hungry, or not feeling well. Other times they don’t want to accept the answer we have given as a final one and they’re hoping to wear us down and change our minds.
More often than not, the biggest reason that lurks beneath all those I’ve mentioned, is the child’s deep need to release their pent-up frustration with a really good cry. By whining they’re hoping to draw us into connection, so we’ll be the ones to comfort them through their disappointment and sadness when their tears finally come.
Seldom do we see their whining behavior as an invitation for a connection because it’s so masked by their abrasive behavior. As a result, we often back out of the connection when we should be lovingly leaning in to provide it.
Coach Benjamin Mizrahi. Educator. Learning Specialist. Family Coach. Father. Husband.
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