#Repost @curious.parenting Instagram

We can make a child say thank you, but we can’t make them feel grateful. 
We can make them share their toys, but we can’t make them choose generosity. 
We can make them apologize, but we can’t make them be kind. 
 
If we want to support kids in developing gratitude, generosity, and kindness, we need to model thanking fully, giving generously, and responding kindly. 
 
Forcing a kid to share, say thank you, and apologize is directly counterproductive to the development of gratitude, generosity, and kindness; these traits can only exist if chosen freely. 
 
How does it feel to get a “thank you” from someone who has been forced to say it? An apology from someone who doesn’t feel sorry? 
 
Instead of pushing, we can make our presence a place where gratitude, generosity, and kindness can grow. 
 
💧 We can water them by saying things like: 
 
🌱 “Thank you for spending time with me.” and “I’m so happy to have your help” 
 
🌿 “Would you like to borrow my warm scarf?” and “Here, you can use my bucket.” 
 
🌳 “I’m sorry for yelling earlier. I’d like to be more gentle with my words.” and “I’m so sorry I threw that away, I’m hearing how important it was to you.”