Most parents yell at their kids at one time or another. However, for some parents, yelling becomes a bad habit. Yelling, bribes and threats may be the easy choice to get kids to listen, but they listen from fear instead of learning to obey and respect you as a parent.
Teaching kids to be obedient is not easy by any stretch of the imagination, but with a little patience and effort, it is certainly possible! If you want to get a handle on your child’s unresponsiveness, the first thing you need to do is figure out WHY he is NOT listening. Often, his lack of response is a SYMPTOM, not the actual problem.
Here’s how to discipline without yelling:
- Establish Clear Rules – Don’t assume your children know family rules until you’ve talked about them. Be sure your children understand why these rules are being made and the consequences for breaking the rules. Resist the urge to yell, nag, or lecture. When you do, your words aren’t likely to teach your child to do better next time
- Connect before you direct – Instead, stop what you’re doing, go over to your child and acknowledge what he’s doing: “That looks like a cool race track you’re building.” Invite him to tell you about it and invest the time to really listen.
- Ensure comprehension. – Have your child repeat back your request after you’ve made one to ensure that he understands what you’re expecting. This is a simple way to make sure everyone is on the same page, to allow you to clarify if you’re not and to ensure that your child actually heard what you were saying.
- Follow Through – Avoid nagging or repeating a warning over and over. Instead, follow through with the consequence to show that you mean what you say. Consistent discipline is the key to getting your child to change his behavior and become more compliant.
Coach Benjamin Mizrahi. Educator. Learning Specialist. Family Coach. Father. Husband.
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