Mr. Mizrahi's Academic Coaching was founded on the belief that every student has the ability to learn.
Academic coaching is a service that enables students to set goals and achieve them. Students from middle school through college, gain increased awareness of what it takes to achieve academic success.
At the beginning of our journey, we focus on assessment of learning style and discovery of personal strengths.
Throughout the coaching process, clients work on their executive functions skills to improve their chances of academic success.
Over the past years, Benjamin Mizrahi has helped students improve their study habits, comprehension, and test-taking skills. As a result, these students have earned better test scores and grades, and grown in self-esteem and confidence. We love celebrating those victories with our students.
Children usually sense when you mean what you say and when you don’t. It’s usually best not to say anything unless you mean it and can say it respectfully, and can then follow through with dignity and respect.
The key to effective limits and boundaries is to say what you mean and mean what you say. This means you need to think before you speak, which generally means you should take time to be calm and consider things rationally.
Don’t set a consequence that you know you won’t be able to follow through on– and don’t follow through when you know you’re being unreasonable or simply acting out of anger and frustration.
Remember, discipline is meant to teach. Set consequences in advance, preferably with your child’s input, then follow through with dignity and mutual respect.
Screentime is addictive and interferes with relationships. There is research that demonstrates how the brain develops differently with excessive screen time, so it is true that screen time does affect a child’s development.
But my guess is that you don’t need research to know that your children are on their screens too much each day; you know this from your own wisdom and intuition. The key lies in finding a balance. Yes, kids are keeping up with technology and learning new skills that will help them if their lives. And yes, too much media use does prevent them from becoming proficient in person-to-person communication skills.
Try these ways to help manage your family’s screen time so it doesn’t manage you:
Have a Family Meeting. Get the whole family involved in a plan for reducing screen time. Part of the solutions should include things to do in place of screen time. It is more difficult to give something up when you don’t have plans for what else to do.
Create a “parking lot” for electronics—have a basket or charging station in a central location in the house at which family members “park” their electronics during certain times of day.
Establish new routines. Start with one time of day to be screen free (such as dinner) and periodically add on other times of day.
Stay close with your child with Special Time. Children will listen to your limits about screen time when they feel understood and that you “get” them.
Spend regular one-on-one time together to keep your relationship strong.
Hold limits with Kindness and Firmness. Changing a screen time habit is hard; be ready for disappointment, anger, and sad feelings. Hold your limits by empathizing with a child’s feelings and sticking with the limit you’ve set.
Kids experience complex feelings just like adults. They get frustrated, excited, nervous, sad, jealous, frightened, worried, angry and embarrassed.
However young kids usually don’t have the vocabulary to talk about how they are feeling. Instead they communicate their feelings in other ways.
Kids can express their feelings through facial expressions, through their body, their behaviour and play. Sometimes they may act out their feelings in physical, inappropriate or problematic ways.
From the moment kids are born, they start learning the emotional skills they need to identify, express and manage their feelings. They learn how to do this through their social interactions and relationships with important people in their lives such as parents, grandparents and caregivers.
When we understand the critical role emotions play in our children’s development, we need not squash them when those feelings challenge us. Instead, we can help train them at various ages and stages to listen to their heart and respond in ways that will be healthy for them and others.
Life with a child or teen with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or ADD) can be frustrating, even overwhelming. But as a parent you can help your child overcome daily challenges, channel their energy into positive arenas, and bring greater calm to your family. And the earlier and more consistently you address your child’s problems, the greater chance they have for success in life.
Children with ADHD generally have deficits in executive function: the ability to think and plan ahead, organize, control impulses, and complete tasks. That means you need to take over as the executive, providing extra guidance while your child gradually acquires executive skills of their own.
Although the symptoms of ADHD can be nothing short of exasperating, it’s important to remember that the child who is ignoring, annoying, or embarrassing you is not acting willfully. Kids with ADHD want to sit quietly; they want to make their rooms tidy and organized; they want to do everything their parent says to do—but they don’t know how to make these things happen.
If you keep in mind that having ADHD is just as frustrating for your child, it will be a lot easier to respond in positive, supportive ways. With patience, compassion, and plenty of support, you can manage childhood ADHD while enjoying a stable, happy home.
We teach our children by example. Most of what they learn and pick up is based on things we do and not on things we say. When our children see us giving grace to others, forgiving them and seeing them as human they are able to forgive themselves and see their own selves as human. They allow themselves room to make mistakes and forgive themselves for their errors. Conversely if we hold grudges, don’t forgive people or don’t see them in their humanity, our children learn that there is no room for human error or simple imperfections. They learn to be hard on themselves and may have difficulty moving past their own missteps. So, forgiving others is not just helpful for living happier healthier lives, it’s important because it can impact our children’s self-esteem and the way they feel about themselves.
It is important for parents to spend quality time with children. In this fast-paced world, we have to make space for our kids, and assure them that we care about them and will always be there as pillars of support. They need our love, kindness, and strength, so that they feel secure and confident with themselves.
Importance of Spending Quality Time with Children
Unbreakable Bonds – It takes time to create and maintain relationships. Similarly as parents, we need to take time out for our kids. Everyday is important and every free minute counts. Making an effort to utilize every moment possible, will allow you to spend more a good amount of time with your kids. You may not see much coming off it now, but this practice will yield its positive results in the future, when the kids are in high school and college etc.It is important for parents to be aware of the events happening in their child’s life, and must participate in discussion, so as to guide them to the right path. Growing up can be confusing and adolescence difficult. Parents can share their own experiences and failures with their children, so that the child is made aware of the consequences of their thoughts and actions
Instilling Everlasting Values – Children observe, process, and assimilate values from their parents as well as their immediate surrounding. Everything they learn is through years and years of ingraining of morals and principles, which the family upholds. Children learn to be respectful towards elders and protective towards younger siblings and cousins. They learn the difference between right and wrong, safe and unsafe. They grow up to understand the value of education, hard work, honesty, kindness, and forgiveness. Children gradually become more receptive to the challenges their parents face and all the hardships they have undergone in their own personal lives.
Acceptance and Strength of Character – A family offers the perfect environment for the child to develop a healthy and balanced personality. Good parents accept their children for who they are and never compare them or judge them. Children must be given the freedom to express their feelings, and creativity without a worry in the world. Parents must be aware of their children’s talents and accordingly provide them with further training and encouragement, so that the children feel more confident about themselves. Confidence can take people far and help them contribute positively to the society. Similarly your child too can grow up to become a confident individual, only and only if you give him or her your support.
Many children struggle to be in touch with and express their feelings. Too often children are not allowed their feelings because adults try to fix, squelch or even deny feelings.
Instead, it is much more helpful to just validate feelings. You can do this by asking a simple question or reflecting back with empathy.
Here are the ways that can help you be in touch with your child’s feelings :
Validate their emotion
Allow their big feeling
Sit with them
Ask them what they need
Children learn resilience when they have the experience of working through their feelings and learning that they pass—eventually.
Many times they can work through their feelings on their own. Other times you can involve them in problem-solving—after everyone has calmed down.
We help children understand their feelings and deal with them effectively by taking them seriously and then helping them work it out or trusting them to work things out after they feel validated and have a little time.
And, it is amazing how often children do work out solutions to their problems when they are simply allowed to do so in a friendly atmosphere of support and validation.
Showing children you love them for who they are and not what they do is acutely important to their self-esteem. It requires that you separate the child from his or her behavior.
For example, toddlers frequently scream, cry, pout, strike out, and sulk when they are tired, uncomfortable, frustrated, hungry, or bored. At those moments, they are not very easy to be around, but this is the best time to show them you love them. If they are old enough to understand, explain that their behavior makes you unhappy or angry, but that no matter how badly they act, you still love them.
Psychologists agree that it is impossible to spoil or over indulge a baby, so take every opportunity to hold and caress them. Physical touch is important.
Parents praise and encouragement will help children feel good about themselves. This boosts their self-esteem and confidence. Finding ways to compliment your children can be a very valuable parenting tool. So often we are focused on what our children have done wrong. This week focus on what your children have done right and give them an appropriate compliment.
Tips for using praise, encouragement and rewards
Help build your child’s self-esteem and encourage good behavior with these tips:
When you feel good about your child, say so. See if you can give your child some words of encouragement every day. The small things you say can build up over time to have a big effect on your child.
Try to praise more than you criticize. As a guide, try to praise your child six times for every one time you say something negative.
Look for little changes and successes. Rather than waiting until your child has done something perfectly to give a compliment, try to praise any effort or improvement.
Accept that everyone’s different. Praise your child for her unique strengths and encourage her to develop and feel excited about her particular interests. This will help her develop a sense of pride and confidence.
Surprise your child with a reward for good behavior. For example, ‘Thanks for picking up the toys – let’s go to the park to celebrate’.
Praise effort as well as achievement. Recognize and praise how hard your child is trying – for example, ‘You worked really hard on that essay’ or ‘Thank you for remembering to hang your coat on the peg’.
Try to make your praise dependent on your child’s behavior, rather than your feelings. You might find that the more you look for good behavior to praise, the more positive you’ll feel (and the more good behavior you’ll see).
With children, it’s less about what you say, and more about how you say it. Body posture and tone will always communicate more than our words.
Communicating with compassion and understanding will have a long-lasting impact on your child’s emotional intelligence. Think of it as brain food that serves to enhance the wiring between the emotional and rational part of the brain.
Parents wants their children to have a rich understanding of their internal world, as well as the ability to gain additional perspectives. This skill comes with age and with repeated experiences of feeling understood by another person.
If you have toddler, what would you add to this list?
No one likes to be judged. Sometimes, the best that we can do is simply to remind ourselves of these simple facts, the more support we can give them, and the earlier they can start receiving it, the better. That means more compassion, less eye-rolling, and more listening.
Allow them time and space to accomplish their tasks. Influence them with love, not with criticism.
They will accomplish what they have to do, but not on the schedule you have in mind.
We need to have faith in our children to solve small problems so they will have the ability to solve big problems later in life. Offer support through validating feelings or giving a hug, but not by rescuing or fixing.
TAKE TIME FOR TRAINING
It is important to Take Time for Training. Adults often expect children to accomplish tasks for which there has not been adequate training. This is more typical in homes than in schools. Parents may expect children to clean their rooms, but never teach them how. Children go into their messy rooms and feel overwhelmed. It may be helpful to clean the room with your children until they have more training. This is also a great way to create connection.
Be sure and use Curiosity Questions. Instead of telling children what to do, ask curiosity questions. “Where do your dirty clothes go?” “What do we need to do before we can vacuum the floor?” “What do you need to do to get your work done on time?” Children are great problem solvers when we give them a chance.
Patience is probably the most difficult part of showing faith in our children. It is almost always more expedient to solve problems for our children. This is particularly true when we are under time pressures. In these cases we can take time later to explore solutions for the future. Ask your children exploratory questions. “What happened?” “What caused it to happen?” “What did you learn?” “What can you do in the future?”
When time is not an issue, practice having patience with your children. Allow them to problem solve on their own. Allow them to feel a little disappointment. Allow them to work through their feelings. They will need these skills in the future.
It may help to remember that who your children are today, is not who they will be forever. Someday they will be nagging their own children to put their dishes in the sink and to clean their rooms. Remember that example is the best teacher. Model what you want for your children, take time for training so they learn skills, have regular family meetings, and then have lots of faith in them to become the best they can be.