Accept Your Child’s Emotions

There isn’t a single piece of research that shows that rejecting, ignoring, dismissing, invalidating, resisting, ridiculing, punishing or attempting to shut down children’s emotions is good for them or for the parent-child relationship. There is, however, decades of research showing just the opposite: that when we accept our children’s feelings and help them organize their emotions by offering our presence, connection, nurturance, understanding, and guidance, they develop into more secure, confident, and socially and academically competent adults who tend to be able to better regulate their emotions and respond with sensitivity to others’ emotions. 

For both kids and adults, having our emotions rejected or dismissed usually leads to the amplification of the intensity of emotion. In kids, “meltdowns” and “tantrums” (emotional dysregulation, stress, and overwhelm) are likely to be more intense and occur for longer when their emotions are rejected rather than accepted. Accepting your child’s emotion and responding with sensitivity, with presence, empathy, and nurturance, can help to soothe and contain your child’s emotion, and help them organize their emotional experience; this process is called ‘coregulation’ and is the foundation required for children to gradually learn to regulate their own emotions. 


‘Oh, but what about when they are engaging in undesirable behavior?’, I hear you say. ‘Should I set limits when they are expressing their emotion in bad behaviors?’ Children can’t effectively or consistently regulate their behavior before they have learnt to effectively regulate their emotion…and let’s be real here, many adults haven’t mastered this skill. Your child is much more likely to be able to regulate their behavior (engage in healthy, adaptive behavior) when they can effectively regulate their emotions, and, for them to be able to regulate their emotions, they need to have their emotions accepted and supported by their caregivers— on this the research is clear. 

Coach Benjamin Mizrahi. Educator. Learning Specialist. Family Coach. Father. Husband.   

More articles on www.MrMizrahi.blog  

https://mrmizrahi.blog/2020/10/01/6-ways-to-show-faith-in-your-child/

Build Your Child’s Confidence

Confidence is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give their child. As such, parenting has a clear impact on how children see themselves and build confidence.  
 
When a child encounters hardship, parents should point out how enduring these challenges will increase his resilience. It’s important to remind your child that every road to success is filled with setbacks.  

Praising your child is one of the ways by which his self-confidence is developed. However, overpraising him may not be good as it might lead either to an inflated view of one’s own capabilities or, equally possible, could lead to feelings of anxiety and inferiority. A child knows when the way he is being described does not reflect reality. It is a given fact that those with grandiose views of themselves, with high self-esteem that borders on narcissism, tend to be more aggressive when their egos are threatened.  
 
The most important way to boost your child’s confidence and self-esteem is to honor his feelings. If a child does not get accurate feedback and that he only gets positive feedback, then, he can never improve in an area of performance. Your child must get honest feedback which is straightforward and allows for improvement where necessary. 
 
Children need to live with people they love and who love them, people who have realistic expectations of them. This is what will boost a child’s self-esteem. 

 

Coach Benjamin Mizrahi. Educator. Learning Specialist. Family Coach. Father. Husband.   

More articles on www.MrMizrahi.blog  

Conscious Parenting

I hear from parents every day trying to break old patterns from their childhood and parent more consciously. If you are struggling to remove yourself from the ways you were parented and the negative cycles you’d prefer to leave behind, I want to encourage you. The only parent you are destined to become is the one that you decide to be. 
 
Your past doesn’t get to choose your legacy. 
 
Committing to breaking cycles from our childhood and parenting consciously can lead to imposter syndrome bringing self-doubt into the mix, “Am I doing this all wrong?” No one is fully conscious all the time. Making unconscious decisions and falling back into old habits is natural. Parenting is the best self-development course you will ever take. 

Coach Benjamin Mizrahi. Educator. Learning Specialist. Family Coach. Father. Husband.   

More articles on www.MrMizrahi.blog  

https://mrmizrahi.blog/2020/10/01/6-ways-to-show-faith-in-your-child/

Positive Things to Say to Kids

Words are a powerful thing. They can tear someone down. They can build someone up. And for children, hearing words of affirmation can literally affect their overall development and perception of who they are and who they will be. Whatever parenting style you follow, using positive words are much more likely to result in a positive outcome. Read on below for just a few things you can say to your little one today! And share this with a friend who might want to see it too! 
– 
I believe in you. 
You are important. 
What an amazing listener you are! 
You are such a kind person. 
I couldn’t have done this without you. 
I trust you. 
You are very brave. 
I love how you can make me laugh! 
I am impressed at how responsible you are. 
You are loved. 

Coach Benjamin Mizrahi. Educator. Learning Specialist. Family Coach. Father. Husband.   

More articles on www.MrMizrahi.blog  

https://mrmizrahi.blog/2020/10/01/6-ways-to-show-faith-in-your-child/

How to Support Your Child with Learning Disabilities

Studies show that family involvement plays a big role in getting kids ready to enter school, promoting their school success and preparing them for university. 

Of course, as a parent, discovering that your child has a learning disability can bring on a mix of emotions, from fear that he or she will be labelled as lazy or slow to feelings of guilt or despair. 

If this sounds familiar, here are some tips for supporting your child’s learning. 

1. Learn as much as possible about your child’s disability 

Parents can benefit from conducting their own online search to learning as much as they can about their child’s reading, learning or behavioral disability. 

If parents become familiar with local organizations online or in person, they can participate in workshops, information sessions and support groups. 

If you’re not sure where to begin, try signing up to relevant websites to receive newsletters and joining local groups and parent groups, which can be a wealth of knowledge and connect you to further community services and help. 

2. Collaborate with teachers 

Another thing that can be beneficial is getting to know your child’s teachers before the school year begins and then communicating with them throughout the school year. You can write an introductory letter to introduce yourself and your child. This establishes with the new teacher that you’re an active parent and that you care. 

Introducing yourself creates the opportunity to detail what strategies have worked well with your child so far and get across that you look forward to being involved in your child’s education. 

Be sure to provide all your child’s medical and academic records, as that’s the ‘go-to’ place for learning support specialists and it is imperative that they can read about your child and the diagnosis. 

Let your child be as active as possible by joining the school’s Facebook page, reading the school’s newsletters, attending parent-teacher interviews and participating in any school or community events. 

3. Find out how you can help 

It’s also a good idea to talk to your child’s teachers about what he or she is learning and how you can support their learning at home. 

If there are fundamental or foundational skills your child needs to learn, meet with the class teacher or learning support team from school and learn how to scaffold that learning for your child. 

Many times, learning moves fast at school, and whilst teachers try hard to differentiate a child’s learning at their level, it can only help if parents are prepared to learn what to do and help at home. What greater gift would there be than to work with your child and give them this time? 

4. Provide opportunities for your child to use his or her strengths 

Children with learning disabilities can suffer from low self-esteem, so one way to combat this is to help them focus on and develop their natural strengths and abilities. 

All children have different skills and things they are good at. Some may be good at running or swimming, while others are good at reading or listening; but they should all be allowed to feel good about themselves and their different talents, strengths and skills. 

Try to work together with your child to figure out what they feel good about doing, whether it’s sports, singing, painting or photography, and then provide more opportunities for them to develop these talents, as this can help them build confidence in other areas too. 

 
Coach Benjamin Mizrahi. Educator. Learning Specialist. Family Coach. Father. Husband.   

More articles on www.MrMizrahi.blog