How to have stress-free school nights without fighting/arguing with your child about their schoolwork even if they have not been good at taking care of it.
The REAL reason why your child procrastinates on his/her school work (Shocker: it is NOT because they are lazy).
Understand how your child can enhance his/her learning without having to re-learn the material all over again before tests even if it is hard to understand the teacher.
How to complete homework and study for tests without having to sit with your child or hiring expensive tutors even if you think your child cannot work alone.
What parents who used to feel in despair have learned to use simple tools and tweaks in their parenting to become happy and successful Moms and Dads without needing to make drastic changes in their lives.
There’s no denying that being a parent can be one of the most rewarding experiences in one’s life, it certainly has its challenging days, weeks and even years. Parents of children with ADHD have additional stressors affecting their day-to-day lives which can no doubt dampen the joys of parenting at times.
If the stress of being a parent to a child with a developmental disorder or associated concern is causing you to feel “burnt out”, remember:
You are NOT ALONE. Parenthood isexhausting at the best of times, and it is not shameful to struggle.
It is important to TAKE A BREAK. All parents need a break from time to time, and it is vital to make time to practice self-care. Go for a walk, go to the gym, listen to music, catch up with friends, have a bubble bath, make time for “date nights”.
If those around you offer to help, SAY YES. Remember it takes a village to raise a child.
Draw upon your child’s “care team”. Talk to their Pediatrician, School Counsellor, Speech Therapist, Occupational Therapist, or even sporting coach. No questions are silly questions. It is always better to have asked about something playing on your mind than to stress about it unnecessarily.
Talk to other parents of children with developmental difficulties – this can help to normalize your experience.
Try and take joy in the small things. Celebrate little wins, and appreciate when your child sings, laughs or smiles.
MOST IMPORTANTLY, if the burn-out gets too much, SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP.
Coach Benjamin Mizrahi. Educator. Learning Specialist. Family Coach. Father. Husband.
We all know that anxiety can be present at any age, even in very young children. As they grow, most children follow a “normal” developmental trajectory in terms of anxiety manifestations. In simple terms, since anxiety is part of childhood development, we can expect to see children deal with it at different stages. The most common form of anxiety seen in children is separation anxiety. Others will develop signs and symptoms associated with more severe anxiety. As early childhood educators, you may have observed persistent signs associated with anxiety in children. You may even have felt powerless when you faced anxiety-related behaviors. There is no miracle recipe. However, certain strategies can be considered to help children in general, particularly those who may experience more serious symptoms.
A healthy lifestyle at its best
A rested, well-fed child who has a consistent schedule and healthy, balanced lifestyle habits may, over time, demonstrate fewer anxiety-related signs and behaviors. Anxiety tends to increase during times of stress or during periods when a child is more tired. For this reason, be sure to create a stable routine that leaves plenty of time for rest. Alternate between calm and active games and activities. Watch for signs. You may have to temporarily reorganize your schedule to fulfill the needs of your group if children need more rest.
Balance “reassurance” and “overprotectiveness”
When we intervene with an anxious child, reassuring him about his fears is extremely important. The same is true for future events. With an anxious child, you must aim to prepare him for unforeseeable events as much as possible. However, be very careful. Do not become overprotective. Try to find the middle ground between reassuring the child and preventing him from taking initiatives and developing a go-getter attitude. In the same way, make sure you aren’t helping the child avoid all situations that may cause anxiety or increase his level of anxiety. Instead, simply accompany the child whenever he is facing an anxiety-inducing situation.
Foster self-esteem
Self-esteem is built day by day. The more confident a child is, the more he will believe in his ability to succeed. His level of anxiety will most likely go down. Make a point of positively reinforcing an anxious child. Set him up for success and show him you have faith in his abilities…and your own. Keep in mind that children learn by example and you are an important role model.
Plan for what’s coming
Of course, we can’t plan everything. Nonetheless, integrating an illustrated schedule and announcing field trips and special activities ahead of time can help children feel prepared to face what’s coming. All children need to be reassured whenever they face unfamiliar people or activities. Explaining how and when things are going to occur will help an anxious child. Aim to use visual tools as often as possible.
Acceptance
Each child is unique. If an anxious child feels accepted despite his anxiety, it will be much easier for him to grow and evolve. Accompany an anxious child as much as possible.
With your help, an anxious child can tackle the challenges associated with his anxiety.
I found this amazing article on using your children’s unique Skills that I wanted to share with you:
“I use a strengths-based approach in the classroom, and I look for ways to tell my students, “Man, I am so lucky to have you as a student!”
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” — Albert Einstein
A child’s reality is created by the words adults use to describe him. If adults continually talk about student deficits, the student will define himself by what he lacks. This is often the case for kids with attention and learning disorders, who are reminded daily of the skills they’re missing. They think: If they see themselves as deficient, then what’s the point of trying at school?
Using a strengths-based model of teaching kids with disabilities gives kids the chance to redefine themselves and their education in terms of what makes them great — and kids with ADHD have a lot of great qualities. They tend to be more creative, innovative, hyperfocused, and have an incredible sense of humor, which are among the reasons I so love working with them.
Kids come with strengths and weaknesses, and harnessing the strengths leads to improvement across the board. It also creates a more engaged learner. In fact, a collection of Gallup data reported that kids who were taught in a strengths-based model earned higher GPAs and were absent from school less often. This is also true in the grownup world. We choose jobs based on our natural strengths, and probably wouldn’t show up to work if we didn’t have opportunities to use our skills on a daily basis.
Helping a child discover and leverage his unique skills helps him develop the confidence to be a learner, and the courage to overcome his weaknesses. Creating that positive atmosphere also makes collaborating with other teachers more productive and enjoyable as they begin to acknowledge one another’s aptitudes.
While adopting a strengths-based model consists mainly of shifting to a positive mindset—acknowledging and creating opportunities for students to let their skills shine— there are some tricks to effectively shift the balance.
1. Measure strengths. Some kids have an idea of their own abilities, but many don’t know for sure. Even if they do, taking a quiz gives them a chance to say, out loud, what makes them great. You can find a series of great tests at UPenn, which contribute to a body of research. You can also find a lower-key Multiple Intelligences questionnaire for free at Scholastic.
2. Notice and tell kids’ about their strengths daily. It’s important to a) identify what exactly students did well, and b) pair it with an acknowledgement of their effort. Talent alone doesn’t get anyone to the Olympics, my friends, and hard work needs its due credit. If you’re feeling like something is missing in your classroom, challenge yourself to compliment each student daily.
3. Bait for success. Some kids give up on school at a young age when they feel like a perpetual failure. As a teacher, it’s difficult to acknowledge a student’s talents if she never demonstrates those talents. It’s very important — especially for difficult students — to create situations where those learners can be successful, in order for you to point out how skilled they are. They might have a creative solution, a unique insight, or the ability to be helpful when no one else was around. Give them bonus points if they see that no one else was able to accomplish that task (even if it’s because no one else was there). Every day, find some way to tell them: “Man, I am so lucky to have you as a student!”
4. Give options. It can be hard to plan for a group with wide-ranging abilities. Did I say “hard?” It’s impossible. Almost. Providing options for a kid to show what he knows allows him to put his talents front and center and to take charge of his own education. This increases engagement and creates a more independent and self-advocating learner. It is an investment.
5. Teach collaboration. None of us accomplishes anything alone, and nobody is good at everything. Allow children to recognize each other’s specialties and use them together to create something great. Plan group projects, teach students to ask each other questions if they get stuck, and compliment one another throughout the process. Then watch your class collectively develop a great attitude as they learn!”
Music has a profound effect on our mood, blood pressure, and heart rate.
Research indicates that music strengthens areas of the brain (that, in a child with ADHD, are weak.) Music strengthens the auditory, visual/spatial, and motor cortices of the brain. These areas are tied to speech and language skills, reading, reading comprehension, math, problem-solving, brain organization, focus, and attention challenges.
Parents of children with ADHD should know that there are methods beyond medication and counseling to treat ADHD. One of them is music. Confirmed by multiple research studies to play a significant role in cognitive development, music can be used to help children organize their thoughts.
But not any music will do. Only certain classical music builds a bigger, better brain. Listening to jazz or pop doesn’t have the same beneficial effects. A study conducted by Donald Shetler, Ed.D., of the Eastman School of Music, found that kids who listened to classical music for 20 minutes a day had improved speech and language skills, a stronger memory, and greater organization of the brain.
Classical music is peaceful and harmonious making it one of the best options to listen to when studying. It seems that there is evidence that Mozart improves mental performance. They call it the “Mozart Effect.”
It is said that to study it’s necessary to have a quiet environment without distractions. However, for some, studying in a quiet environment can backfire. This ‘quiet environment’ can make you end up fighting boredom and succumbing to the allure of sleeping at your desk! This is why the importance of choosing the right music for studying can’t be underestimated.
Although some studies say that listening to music while you study isn’t good, for many people it’s vital. It’s calms them down, which can lead to productive studying. Music can also help elevate your mood and motivate you to study longer.
It helps you focus, reduce distractions, maintain your productivity and retain information when working, studying, writing and reading.
Music stimulates the brain
‘Nothing activates the brain so extensively as music’. So says Oliver Sacks, a doctor and researcher at Columbia University, who has used music as a complementary treatment for many of his patients.
Research backs up his claim. Pleasurable music is known to increase dopamine levels in the brain. Dopamine is responsible for regulating motivation, working memory and attention ( which is often found in lower levels in people with ADHD.)
This is one of the main reasons why there are benefits of music for kids to train their brains and achieve higher levels of self-control and focus – both at home and in the classroom.
Music provides organization
Children may struggle to focus and regulate their thoughts and behaviors to maintain a linear path. Music has a defined structure and can help regain a sense of organization. It can also guide them – many kids with attention issues have trouble following directions, and music can help them to stay attentive and interpret the rhythm and melody as direction.
Music therapist, Kirsten Hutchison, claims that the structure of music has a positive impact on kids’ ability to structure their activities in a timeline, as well as strategize their responses to the things around them. ‘The structure helps a child plan, anticipate and react,’ she says.
Music has a soothing effect
Music has the power to change our moods and influence our emotions. That’s why it’s only natural that certain types of music, mostly slow and tranquil, present a great opportunity for reducing the impulsiveness and restlessness that children with attention issues often suffer from.
But that’s not all. Music can also help to alleviate the symptoms of stress and anxiety.
Music is social
Writing, practicing and performing music are all social activities. That’s why music therapists are eager to use these forms of social practice in order to help children with ADD to learn appropriate behaviors in social situations.
Children can learn how to listen to others with attention, recognize how to anticipate changes, get to know the social rules of taking turns in performance and generally follow cues that might not be as effective when generated outside a music therapy session.
Music therapy means many things – it can be listening to music, creating it or playing together with recorded music. It can even be composing music or writing song lyrics. All of this helps children to communicate their moods and feelings, while simultaneously reducing their level of anxiety and restlessness. Music therapy is versatile and readily available – a great option for complementing traditional treatments of ADD in children.
Feel free to use my Youtube Playlist on music proven to help focus:
Research shows that students with ADHD can concentrate better when they’re allowed to fidget (here’s a link to the study). But what if this becomes a distraction for the rest of the class? We received hundreds of Facebook comments from teachers, parents, and students with great ideas for letting students quietly fidget, and here are some of our favorites:
1. Squeeze Balls
Squishy balls, stress balls, koosh balls, hand exercisers… there are dozens of objects that can be squeezed quietly. Teacher tip: make sure that kids use them under their desks for minimal distractions to others. Fun activity idea: fill balloons up with different items (seeds, playdough, flour, etc.) to squish.
2. Fidgets
Fidgets are small objects that help keep students’ hands occupied. You can buy these on my facebook page or use objects like beaded bracelets, Rubik’s Cubes, or slinkies.
3. Silly Putty
Silly putty, playdough, or sticky tack can also keep students’ hands occupied.
4. Velcro
Tape a strip of the hard side of velcro under the student’s desk. It gives them something to touch. Many types of objects can work, such as emery boards or straws.
5. Gum or Chewable Necklaces
Chewing gum can help keep some ADHD students focused. In no-gum classrooms, necklaces with chewable pieces can also work. You can also wrap airline tubing or rubber bands at the ends of pencils for students to chew.
6. Doodling
Doodling can help many students focus, not just ones with ADHD (here’s the research if you’re interested). Some students also benefit if they can draw during story time or a lesson.
7. Background Noise/Music
A fan in the back of the room can help some students focus. Letting them listen to music on headphones (as long as it doesn’t interfere with what’s happening in class) can also help. One teacher had success with an aquarium in the back of the room — the students liked hearing the calming swish of the water.
8. Chair Leg Bands
Tie a large rubber band (or yoga band) across both front legs of the chair for students to push or pull against with their legs.
9. Bouncy Balls
AKA yoga balls, stability balls, or exercise balls. These are potentially great for all students, not just ones with ADHD.
10. Swivel Chairs
Kids can twist a little bit from side to side. A rocking chair also works.
11. Wobble Chairs
Similar to swivel chairs or disk seats, these chairs let students rock within their seats. Teacher tip: don’t let students wobble too much, or they may fall off!
12. Disk Seats
These sit on a chair and allow students to rock in their seats (without being as dangerous as rocking the entire chair). Cushions can also work.
13. Standing Desks
Great for all students, not just ones that need to fidget. If it’s within your budget, you can also use treadmill desks.
14. Desks with Swinging Footrests
A built-in footrest can help reduce the noise that would otherwise happen with foot tapping.
15. Stationary Bikes
Putting a stationary bicycle at the back of the classroom is a great way to help students be active, with the added benefit of exercise!
16. Classroom Space for Moving Around
Clear an area in the side or back of the room to let students stand, stretch, dance, pace, or twirl. If you’re brave, you can set up small trampolines for students to jump on.
17. Flexible Work Locations
Students don’t have to do their learning at their desk. One student did his work at the windowsill, while another moved from one desk to another. Having different learning stations can benefit all types of students.
How to have stress-free school nights without fighting/arguing with your child about their schoolwork even if they have not been good at taking care of it.
EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONS COACHING 