Why Does My ADHD Child Not Listen?

When it comes to ADHD, you shouldn’t automatically assume that your child does not listen. They, in fact, might, though, it might appear that they don’t. Alternatively, they could hear and understand and decide to act defiantly instead of obeying. Ultimately, there could be several things going on. Let’s look at some of the most common possibilities. 

🟣 You don’t have their full attention 

For a child with ADHD, their mind often jumps from one focus point to another. If nothing specifically grabs or demands their attention, their mind quickly moves to the next thing. To make your ADHD child listen, do everything you can to request and maintain their full attention. 

🟣 They don’t understand what you are saying and can’t process the information 

Many children with ADHD might struggle with verbal commands because they do not learn best in an auditory setting. If processing is an issue, change your approach and possibly try to explain what you want through demonstration. You could also try to write out instructions or use pictures or drawings. 

🟣 They are being willfully defiant 

In response to defiance, if you want to make your ADHD child listen better, you can try a few things. First, you may want to explain the consequences of their actions again. If they still choose not to obey, you should carry out the consequences. You can’t back down, though, or change the results from what you had said. By doing that, your child might believe they have won the encounter and choose to continue to be defiant in the future. Instead, you should do what you said and carry through on the consequences. Hopefully, they eventually will learn to obey to receive positive results instead of negative ones. 

Secondly, if you find that negative consequences have little effect, you might consider seeking out professional help. Many individuals with ADHD also have Oppositional Defiant Disorder, or ODD. ODD is a separate disorder in which a child willfully and persistently opposes the authority of others. If you continually have concerns about your child’s defiance, this might be the underlying cause. 

Making your ADHD child listen can be a difficult task. You don’t have to be alone in figuring it out, though. While it might take time, you can learn to communicate in ways to make your ADHD child listen. 

Coach Benjamin Mizrahi. Educator. Learning Specialist. Family Coach. Father. Husband.   

More articles on www.MrMizrahi.blog 

Not Every Emotion Needs an Explanation

A gentle reminder: ⁣⁣ 
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Not every emotion needs an explanation. ⁣⁣ 
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It seems fitting after two days of sharing scripts to share this reminder. ⁣⁣ 
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Words are helpful and if we are consciously engaging with our child and ourselves, scripts can help us understand the framework from which we want to parent and shift our mindset. ⁣⁣ 
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And yet, words can also be our crutches. ⁣⁣ 
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Words can be what we use to prevent us from engaging with what is happening in the present moment.⁣⁣ 
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Words can keep our anxiety at bay.⁣⁣ 
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If we are predominantly left-brained, words and logic are what feels comfortable and safe.⁣⁣ 
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We want to understand, rationalize, analyze, and get to the root of our child’s emotions.⁣⁣ 
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Naming the emotion.⁣⁣ 
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Validating the emotion.⁣⁣ 
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Trying to help our child uncover the root of the emotion. ⁣⁣ 
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All very valuable! ⁣⁣ 
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But we may miss the opportunity to teach our child another valuable lesson: emotions are not a part of us, we can experience them, notice them, and let them go.⁣⁣ 
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While this language is too sophisticated for a toddler, the goal is integration. ⁣⁣ 
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Integrate the left and the right brain. ⁣⁣ 
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As parents this means that our presence is more important than any words we share with our child.⁣⁣ 
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Empathy is communicated by our presence and body language, not only our words. ⁣⁣ 
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When your child is experiencing an emotion, pause and notice: ⁣⁣ 
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How is your breathing?⁣⁣ 
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What facial expressions are you communicating?⁣⁣ 
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What are your body movements communicating?⁣⁣ 
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Worth noting: if we are predominantly right brained and tend to get stuck in our emotions or our child’s emotions, integrating the left-brain or logic and reason is the goal. ⁣ 
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What about you, are you predominantly left ⬅ or right ➡ brained? 

Coach Benjamin Mizrahi. Educator. Learning Specialist. Family Coach. Father. Husband.   

More articles on www.MrMizrahi.blog  

https://mrmizrahi.blog/2020/10/01/6-ways-to-show-faith-in-your-child/