Reflective Listening

Reflective listening is a skill I utilize during Play Therapy!  
 
This skill involves focusing intently on the child and working to convey that you hear, understand, and care about what the child is communicating!  
 
 
The concept is straight-forward and includes three easy steps. ‼️ 
 
1. Remove all distractions (i.e. phone, work, television, etc.). 
 
2. As your child talks, look at them and listen closely. 
 
3. “Reflect” back what your child shared with you. 
 
Yes – it really is that simple! ⭐️ 
 
When we make the time to remove distractions and really listen to understand – instead of listening to respond – we help our children know that their experiences and emotions are valuable and important to us.  
 
This creates strong parent-child bond and models healthy communication skills for the child!  

Coach Benjamin Mizrahi. Educator. Learning Specialist. Family Coach. Father. Husband.   

More articles on www.MrMizrahi.blog  

https://mrmizrahi.blog/2020/10/01/6-ways-to-show-faith-in-your-child/

Don’t Make Your Child Say “I’m Sorry” – What to Do Instead

 

Something to remember is you should never force an apology from your child. By telling your child “Say you’re sorry,” there is no explanation for your child as to why their actions could have hurt someone. Or what they can do to change the way they acted. 
 
This type of “sorry,” in particular when, it’s said with no feeling or a lack of sincerity, will stay with kids into their adult life. 

Parents often urge children to immediately apologize. And although that is not out of bad intentions, it can be counterproductive. Other children see a lack of authenticity, and a child forced to apologize is learning to feign remorse. 

What to do instead? 

1)   Modeling.  If you are one to say “sorry” when you err, they will mimic you.  Trust me on this one. 

2)  Pause.  That’s right.  Give kids a moment to volunteer a genuine response to a situation before you jump in two guns ablazin’.  You may well discover that your children do say they are sorry, if given a moment to compose themselves. 

3)  Focus on the future:  Instead of forcing them to say sorry about the past, which they can’t change, put the focus on their commitment to do something differently in the future.  “Can you let your friend know that you won’t take his bike without asking again.” 

4)   Ask your child “what should happen now?” If they broke a neighbor’s window playing ball, letting the child think for themselves of how to right the situation helps build empathy, internalizes the lesson, and generates positive feelings about rectifying the situation. Replacing the window with their allowance and writing a letter stating it was an accident and promising to play in the park in the future feels restorative when they come up with the idea. 

Coach Benjamin Mizrahi. Educator. Learning Specialist. Family Coach. Father. Husband.   

More articles on www.MrMizrahi.blog  

https://mrmizrahi.blog/2020/10/01/6-ways-to-show-faith-in-your-child/

Why Does My ADHD Child Not Listen?

When it comes to ADHD, you shouldn’t automatically assume that your child does not listen. They, in fact, might, though, it might appear that they don’t. Alternatively, they could hear and understand and decide to act defiantly instead of obeying. Ultimately, there could be several things going on. Let’s look at some of the most common possibilities. 

🟣 You don’t have their full attention 

For a child with ADHD, their mind often jumps from one focus point to another. If nothing specifically grabs or demands their attention, their mind quickly moves to the next thing. To make your ADHD child listen, do everything you can to request and maintain their full attention. 

🟣 They don’t understand what you are saying and can’t process the information 

Many children with ADHD might struggle with verbal commands because they do not learn best in an auditory setting. If processing is an issue, change your approach and possibly try to explain what you want through demonstration. You could also try to write out instructions or use pictures or drawings. 

🟣 They are being willfully defiant 

In response to defiance, if you want to make your ADHD child listen better, you can try a few things. First, you may want to explain the consequences of their actions again. If they still choose not to obey, you should carry out the consequences. You can’t back down, though, or change the results from what you had said. By doing that, your child might believe they have won the encounter and choose to continue to be defiant in the future. Instead, you should do what you said and carry through on the consequences. Hopefully, they eventually will learn to obey to receive positive results instead of negative ones. 

Secondly, if you find that negative consequences have little effect, you might consider seeking out professional help. Many individuals with ADHD also have Oppositional Defiant Disorder, or ODD. ODD is a separate disorder in which a child willfully and persistently opposes the authority of others. If you continually have concerns about your child’s defiance, this might be the underlying cause. 

Making your ADHD child listen can be a difficult task. You don’t have to be alone in figuring it out, though. While it might take time, you can learn to communicate in ways to make your ADHD child listen. 

Coach Benjamin Mizrahi. Educator. Learning Specialist. Family Coach. Father. Husband.   

More articles on www.MrMizrahi.blog 

Accept Your Child’s Emotions

#Repost from https://www.instagram.com/australianpsychologist/
https://www.instagram.com/australianpsychologist/

There isn’t a single piece of research that shows that rejecting, ignoring, dismissing, invalidating, resisting, ridiculing, punishing or attempting to shut down children’s emotions is good for them or for the parent-child relationship. There is, however, decades of research showing just the opposite: that when we accept our children’s feelings and help them organize their emotions by offering our presence, connection, nurturance, understanding, and guidance, they develop into more secure, confident, and socially and academically competent adults who tend to be able to better regulate their emotions and respond with sensitivity to others’ emotions. 

For both kids and adults, having our emotions rejected or dismissed usually leads to the amplification of the intensity of emotion. In kids, “meltdowns” and “tantrums” (emotional dysregulation, stress, and overwhelm) are likely to be more intense and occur for longer when their emotions are rejected rather than accepted. Accepting your child’s emotion and responding with sensitivity, with presence, empathy, and nurturance, can help to soothe and contain your child’s emotion, and help them organize their emotional experience; this process is called ‘coregulation’ and is the foundation required for children to gradually learn to regulate their own emotions. 


‘Oh, but what about when they are engaging in undesirable behavior?’, I hear you say. ‘Should I set limits when they are expressing their emotion in bad behaviors?’ Children can’t effectively or consistently regulate their behavior before they have learnt to effectively regulate their emotion…and let’s be real here, many adults haven’t mastered this skill. Your child is much more likely to be able to regulate their behavior (engage in healthy, adaptive behavior) when they can effectively regulate their emotions, and, for them to be able to regulate their emotions, they need to have their emotions accepted and supported by their caregivers— on this the research is clear. 

Reasons why Listening is Important for Your Child’s Growth

 

Young children are inquisitive and curious, we all know that. This is because they are blank slates. The world is still an amazing place for them, and they want to know more about it, about everything. 

In these formative years, children are limited in mobility and other sources of communication, as well as gaining information. So, they turn to the easiest way of gaining new information, listening. 

Let us gain in-depth understanding of how listening is essential in the growth ages, years 1-5, of every child. 

1. Listening Improves Concentration and Memory 

Listening is one of the prime senses of our body. Although visual memories are stronger, our body also retains auditory memories or echoic memories. It helps stabilize the mind and improves concentration. 

2. Improves Vocabulary 

As children grow older, their need to speak and communicate grows rapidly. However, this development is strongly rooted in the initial phase of their childhood. During this phase, listening plays an important role in developing their vocabulary and language processing. 

3. Adds Clarity to Communication and Thought 

This allows them to express themselves more clearly and understand what they want. The ability to communicate clearly and understand the reason strengthens the bond between children and parents. 

4.  Builds Confidence 

One aspect of listening is that it builds confidence. While listening seems like an ordinary thing, most of us listen to reply than to understand. 

Conscious listening decreases speech errors or response errors, thus improving confidence levels. Clarity of thought and concise, but perfect communication allows children to speak their mind. 

5. Improves Relationships 

Communication is the foundation for any relationship. Children with good vocabulary can speak openly with their adults. Their ability to understand reason helps parents to understand their children better as well. 

6. Optimal Method for Growth 

The most important factor of listening is that children between ages 2-4 have limited sources of gaining information and since they cannot read, they prefer listening. 

7. Enables Experiential Thinking 

One of the most important aspects of listening is that it triggers experiential learning. 

Audio plays a primary role in the beginning growth in children. Long before visuals start taking effect, audio plays a key role in developing the early experiences of children. 

Listening is a key-factor in children’s growth and empowers children in multiple ways to process information and interact with their surroundings better. 

 

Coach Benjamin Mizrahi. Educator. Learning Specialist. Family Coach. Father. Husband.   

More articles on www.MrMizrahi.blog 

 

 

How to Smooth Transitions and Avoid Meltdowns

Turning off the TV, leaving the playground, giving back the iPad, or ending a play date — any of these may provoke a tantrum. Why? Many children with autism and ADHD have difficulty moving from one task to another, especially when they must stop an enjoyable activity. Behavior intervention strategies can help smooth the transitions. 

  1. Define Expectations 

Clearly identifying your objectives and setting attainable short- and long-term goals are the first steps to any behavior change plan. 

Let’s take the LEGO example. The expectation may be: When the time comes to shift to another activity, my child will comply when he is asked, without resisting, crying, shouting, or throwing things. 

  1. Create a Schedule 

A written or a visual schedule can help your child follow the order of events for a specific time period. But posting a schedule does not automatically mean your child will follow it. Checking off the events in a schedule should be accompanied by positive reinforcement. 

  1. Reinforcement 

Once you have thought of possible reinforcers for your child (you can create a visual depicting the reinforcers for your child to see), try simultaneously presenting the reward as the transition time is occurring, before your child can resist. Besides offering tangible items, positive reinforcement should also include behavior-specific vocal praise. 

If your child already starts to fuss when the announcement is made to start a new activity, don’t promise the reinforcer. It is very important that the engagement in a challenging behavior never results in receiving a pleasurable item or activity. Reinforcers should only follow desired behaviors. As transitions are consistently paired with reinforcement, the new desired behavior can become more of the “norm.” 

  1. Plan 

Prepare in advance to reap the benefits from your intervention plans. Know how you will present the transition, what items or activities will be effective reinforcers to motivate a successful transition, and how you will respond if your child does not go along with the shift in activity. 

  1. Give Choices When Possible 

Offer options to help your child with transitions. You might say, “Do you want me to help you clean up, or do you want to do it by yourself? It is almost time to leave for baseball practice,” “We are ready to finish TV time and have lunch.” It also helps to see things from your child’s perspective. If a game is just about to end, or there are three minutes left on his TV show, be flexible when possible. 

When a parent’s emotion run high, the child’s emotion will, too. Demonstrate the behaviors you want your children to engage in. Urging a child to “Come on, hurry! We are going to be late,” can have a negative effect. Stay calm and steady. 

Coach Benjamin Mizrahi. Educator. Learning Specialist. Family Coach. Father. Husband.   

More articles on www.MrMizrahi.blog 

Positive Things to Say to Kids

Words are a powerful thing. They can tear someone down. They can build someone up. And for children, hearing words of affirmation can literally affect their overall development and perception of who they are and who they will be. Whatever parenting style you follow, using positive words are much more likely to result in a positive outcome. Read on below for just a few things you can say to your little one today! And share this with a friend who might want to see it too! 
– 
I believe in you. 
You are important. 
What an amazing listener you are! 
You are such a kind person. 
I couldn’t have done this without you. 
I trust you. 
You are very brave. 
I love how you can make me laugh! 
I am impressed at how responsible you are. 
You are loved. 

Coach Benjamin Mizrahi. Educator. Learning Specialist. Family Coach. Father. Husband.   

More articles on www.MrMizrahi.blog  

https://mrmizrahi.blog/2020/10/01/6-ways-to-show-faith-in-your-child/

Boosting the Self Esteem of a Highly Sensitive Child

Self-esteem is how we each feel about ourselves at any given moment, but you must keep in mind that it’s very dynamic in nature. You can feel like a million bucks when you throw on that new outfit you put together for an interview but feel like a wreck if the interview doesn’t go your way. 

It’s not uncommon for highly sensitive people to try and please everyone before considering pleasing themselves. If a highly sensitive child is always paying attention to what others are saying, the way people react can leave a relatively deeper impression on them. Seeing your child struggle with bouts of low self-esteem can be difficult, but with a little help, you can make a big improvement. 

It’s important to show positive encouragement and support for what your child truly is while accepting them for what they are not. If your child is a great soccer player, it’s important to support them. However, if he/she is constantly struggling with science class, you shouldn’t hold it against them. This constant stream of support and encouragement can provide the building blocks for much-improved self-esteem and overall happiness. 

Sensitive children need to express themselves and successfully master their favorite skill.  Perhaps your sensitive child is particularly talented at playing guitar or skateboarding. Whatever the case is, it’s your job to encourage your child to succeed at what they want and find happiness in doing so. 

Coach Benjamin Mizrahi. Educator. Learning Specialist. Family Coach. Father. Husband.   

More articles on www.MrMizrahi.blog  

4 Parts of a Conversation: How to Help Kids With Social Skills Issues Navigate

At a Glance

  • Navigating a conversation can be difficult for kids with social skills issues.
  • Different skills are required for various parts of a conversation.
  • You can help your child get better at joining, starting, maintaining and ending conversations.

For most people, having a conversation is easy. We don’t think about having to make appropriate comments or how to join in when other people are talking. But for kids with social skills issues, the normal flow of conversation can be hard.

Important skills, like reading body language and knowing what to say (and when to say it), don’t come easily to them. Here’s a look at the four parts of a conversation, the skills involved, and how to help your child navigate each one.

1. Joining a Conversation

Group conversations are tricky because there’s more than one person to connect with. Each person has a unique personality and communication style. The group itself has a unique way of functioning, based on who’s in it and what’s being discussed.

Skills involved:

  • Reading the body language of the group to know if it’s appropriate to join in.
  • Using the right phrases to ask to be included.
  • Understanding the tone of voice people use when they aren’t OK with you joining.
  • Knowing what’s being discussed, and staying on topic.

Why it might be hard: Trouble reading body language can keep kids from knowing if a conversation is private or open. They may also misunderstand the rhythm of the conversation. Is the pause in talking a natural lull? Or is someone just taking time to breathe? And some kids don’t get that they need to talk about the topic at hand to join a conversation.

How to help:

  • Use videos, TV shows or real-life events to point out situations where a group is turned away or talking privately. Also, point out when people in a conversation are looking around and seem open to others joining.
  • Model for your child how to wait for a break in the flow of conversation and then ask a question, like “Is it OK if I join you?”
  • Remind your child to listen and say something related to what others are saying. Your child can use “wh” questions (who, what, when, where and why) to get up to speed.

2. Starting a Conversation

Launching a conversation involves a number of steps. To be successful at it, you have to do them all correctly. The first step is often the hardest: figuring out if this is the right time to have a conversation.

Skills involved:

  • Knowing to start with a greeting, and having the language to do that.
  • Recognizing if it’s an appropriate time to have a conversation.
  • Choosing an appropriate topic and having phrases to open the dialogue.
  • Recognizing nonverbal cues that show if the other person is interested and wants to talk.

Why it might be hard: Kids who are impulsive may burst into a conversation without any greeting. They may act like the other person already knows what they’re thinking. Some kids may not be able to read the “feel” of a room to know if it’s a good time to start a conversation. And once they start, they may not pick up on signs that the person isn’t interested in talking.

How to help:

  • Teach basic greeting phrases to use with familiar people (“Hi, how are you?”) and with unfamiliar people (“Hi, I’m Joe—I’m Miranda’s neighbor”).
  • Show your child what someone’s body language looks like when the person does and doesn’t want to talk. Also show examples of a neutral or uncomfortable facethat might mean a lack of interest.

3. Maintaining a Conversation

The work doesn’t stop once kids with social skills challenges enter a conversation. Continuing the conversation can be difficult, too. It requires following a number of social rules—and not just for a minute or two.

Skills involved:

  • Knowing how to take turns in a conversation.
  • Listening to what the other person says and responding appropriately.
  • Being able to stay on topic.
  • Reading body language, facial expressions and other nonverbal cues.

Why it can be hard: Impulsivity may cause kids to blurt something out or interrupt when they’re excited about a topic. Trouble with nonverbal cues may keep them from realizing that the other person is trying to speak or is losing interest. Kids also might be so stuck on one thought that they can’t let go of it.

How to help:

  • Teach your child how to ask follow-up questions to show he’s heard and is interested in what the other person is saying. Give him scripted examples to practice and use.
  • Help your child practice keeping a thought in mind instead of blurting it out. Let him know it’s OK to say, “Remind me that I wanted to say something about that once you’re done,” if he’s worried he’ll forget his point.
  • Brainstorm words or phrases he can use to show he’s paying attention during conversation, like “right” or “that’s cool.” Make sure he knows he needs to mix them up a little because saying the same thing over and over can sound like he’s not paying attention.
  • Role-play and demonstrate how saying something off-topic or at the wrong time can sound like he’s not interested in what someone else is talking about.

4. Ending a Conversation

Ending a conversation can be as challenging as starting one. You have to read the situation correctly to know if it’s the right time to wrap it up. And then, you have to have the words to end it appropriately.

Skills involved:

  • Reading body language, facial expressions and other nonverbal cues.
  • Making sense of tone of voice and other verbal cues.
  • Being aware of how your own verbal and nonverbal cues may look to others (perspective-taking).
  • Conveying intent through language. (For example, “Well, I have to go now.”)

Why it can be challenging: Since many kids with social skills issues have trouble reading body language, they may not recognize that a person is no longer interested or needs to end a conversation. Kids who are impulsive or who struggle with communication skills may also end a conversation abruptly without saying “goodbye,” just walking away or hanging up the phone.

How to help:

  • Demonstrate some of the nonverbal cues your child may see when someone is trying to end a conversation, like checking the time, turning away or yawning.
  • Teach your child some of the verbal cues that show someone is trying to end a conversation, such as not answering questions, saying they should go or saying things like “So…” or “Well….”
  • Explain that your child can use these cues to end a conversation, too.
  • Teach phrases your child can use to know if the conversation is over. One example is: “Are you OK to keep talking, or do you need to leave?”
  • Help your child learn and practice how to close with a sentence like “It was good talking to you,” or “Well, I have to get going now,” before walking away.

For kids with social skills issues, learning the art of conversation takes lots of direct instruction and practice. So it’s important to be patient, and know that you may have to reinforce these skills over and over.

Learn more about what trouble picking up on social cues can look like in different grades. Read how a mom got her son to stop interrupting. And find out how the “chicken wing” rule can help kids learn to respect personal space during conversations.

Key Takeaways

  • Understanding body language, facial expressions and tone of voice are key conversation skills.
  • Being familiar with nonverbal cues, like when someone looks around or checks the time, can help your child know when it’s a good time to join or end a conversation.
  • Learning the art of conversation takes a lot of practice, so it’s important to be patient with your child.

 

The source can be found here.

Birthday Cake

Yesterday, we celebrated my daughter’s birthday.
For this special occasion, we decided to let her make her own birthday cake. It took more time to make but it was definitely worth the lesson!

Benjamin2

Gratitude is one of the trickiest concepts to teach toddlers and preschoolers — who are by nature self-centered — but one of the most important. By learning gratitude, they become sensitive to the feelings of others, developing empathy and other life skills along the way. Grateful kids look outside their one-person universe and understand that their parents and other people do things for them — prepare dinner, dole out hugs, buy toys.
By participating in simple household chores like feeding the dog or stacking dirty dishes on the counter, kids realize that all these things take effort.

How to Teach Gratitude:

Children model their parents in every way, so make sure you use “please” and “thank you” when you talk to them. (“Thanks for that hug — it made me feel great!”) Insist on their using the words, too.

  • Work gratitude into your daily conversation. Try to weave appreciation for mundane things into your everyday talk: “We’re so lucky to have a good cat like Eliott!” “Aren’t the colors in the sunset amazing?” “I’m so happy when you listen!”  When you reinforce an idea frequently, it’s more likely to stick. One way to turn up the gratitude in your house is to pick a “thanking” part of the day. Make saying what good things happened today part of the dinnertime conversation.
  • Have kids help. It happens to all of us: You give your child a chore, but it’s too agonizing watching him a) take forever to clear the table or b) make a huge mess mixing the pancake batter. The temptation is always to step in and do it yourself. But the more you do for them, the less they appreciate your efforts. (Don’t you feel more empathy for people who work outside on cold days when you’ve just been out shoveling snow yourself?) By participating in simple household chores like feeding the dog or stacking dirty dishes on the counter, kids realize that all these things take effort.
  • Find a goodwill project. That doesn’t mean you need to drag your toddler off to a soup kitchen every week. Instead, figure out some way he can actively participate in helping someone else, even if it’s as simple as making cupcakes for a sick neighbor. “As you’re stirring the batter or adding sprinkles,” talk about how you’re making them for a special person, and how happy the recipient will be.
  • Encourage generosity. Instead of throwing things away, donate toys and clothes to less fortunate kids.
  • Insist on thank-you notes. Just the act of saying out loud why he loved the gift will make him feel more grateful.
  • Practice saying no. Of course, kids ask for toys, video games, and candy — sometimes on an hourly basis. It’s difficult, if not impossible, to feel grateful when your every whim is granted. Saying no a lot makes saying yes that much sweeter.
  • Be patient. You can’t expect gratitude to develop overnight — it requires weeks, months, even years of reinforcement. But trust me, you will be rewarded.

 

Benjamin3

 

 

Source: parents.com

Help Your Children Understand The Core Values of Friendship

The following activity will take between 20-25 minutes of your time but will have a lasting impact on your child’s life!

Helping your child understand what true, loyal, and happy friendship is can be a complicated task. You should not give up the opportunity to know how your child perceives friendship and what s/he is willing to tolerate to stay in friendship with others.

Below, you can find two charts I created (one for boys and one for girls) to help young students understand the pillars of healthy and happy friendship. We did it as follows:

  1. My child and I spoke about her friends and asked various GENERAL questions about her social dynamic in school.
  2. To make a smooth transition I asked: “Could you complete the sentence: A good friend is….” Fill-in-the-blank questions are more engaging than questions like “Who do you think can be a good friend?”
  3. I suggested we will search in the internet for pictures that described a good friend.
  4. We found four pictures that encompass the values I wanted to illustrate with her: inclusiveness, loyalty, respect, and diversity.

It is essential that your child will describe the picture and only then complete the sentence. Also, make sure to revolve the conversation around the value YOU think are relevant to your child’s social dynamic with her/his friends.

Friendship- GIRLS

Friendship- BOYS

Increase the self-confidence of children with learning difficulties

As a parent or a teacher, you play a leading role in building self-esteem in children with learning difficulties. How can you help him reach his full potential?

What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is defined as the awareness of one’s personal worth, that is, of one’s strengths, difficulties and personal limits in different spheres of one’s life (Duclos). It represents a positive value that one attributes to oneself as an individual. It varies according to different factors, including the successes and failures of the child.

Self-esteem and motivation
Therefore, a child with learning difficulties is likely to have his self-esteem severely undermined by some difficult school challenges. As a result, school performance influences a student’s self-esteem. Thus, it often happens that the school motivation of the student in difficulty is shaken because he is confronted with his daily deficiencies in the classroom.

In order to increase the child’s academic motivation and self-esteem, it is important that the child be able to perceive his or her strengths in school in order to seriously engage in school tasks and persevere in learning. despite his difficulties.

Moreover, it is through the interaction with its environment (teachers, peers and parents) that the child becomes aware of his / her personal value, hence the importance of working on your child’s relationship with you and his / her teacher. . In this sense, the quality of the parent-child relationship has a direct impact on self-esteem, as children who receive little attention from their parents often have low self-esteem.

To increase your child’s self-esteem, here are some helpful strategies.

Strategies to increase the child’s self-esteem at home

  1. Demonstrate your unconditional love and meet his needs with consistency. Be available and reliable every day. Make promises and commitments that you can keep. Better to say “no” and change your mind than the opposite. In addition, be very vigilant when criticizing your child. Negative connotations (hyperactive, lost, irritating) stigmatize the child and undermine the construction of his identity.
  2. Have realistic expectations of him and make sure he sets goals for himself. Make sure his expectations are not only realistic, but tailored to his abilities. In addition, your child should be valued for their progress in school and the effort they provide rather than their academic performance.
  3. Give him proportionate responsibilities at home: Offer your child tasks to promote his sense of competence. It is essential to give him responsibilities according to his age. Also, make sure that he understands what he needs to do by accompanying him for the first time so that he can achieve success. Tasks like taking care of the plants and feeding the animals offer the opportunity for the children to see that they are indispensable at home.
  4. Provide a reassuring home setting: Clear and understood rules and boundaries are essential to provide a safe living environment. A known schedule and a stable daily routine are essential to avoid stress in the child.
  5. Promote its autonomy: avoid overprotecting your child. Let him take initiatives and risks and explore his environment so that he learns. In this way, he will gain confidence in his own ability to assess situations.
  6. Focus on his strengths rather than difficulties. Highlight what your child does well at home rather than what he not doing as well.Value your child’s efforts and especially his non-school-related skills, such as artistic or manual skills.

    Highlight his successes and past successes in reactivating his sense of competence.

  7. Find a place (bulletin board) where you show off his success or find a box where you keep a record of them. As the saying goes: “Words vanish, writing remains”.
    Have fun with your child: it’s important to laugh with him. Use humor to play down mistakes or failures. Help him see the positive in every unsuccessful challenge. Take the time to play with your child or spend quality time with him. The more time you spend with him, the more he will feel that he is important to you.
  8. Register him for an activity or workshop he likes (karate, visual arts, singing). Your child must develop strengths in areas other than the school sphere. Even if he does not want or tells you that nothing interest him, insist! Expose him gradually to something new, if he feels anxious about joining a new group, help him for example by accompanying him or warning the person in charge.

Strategies to increase the child’s self-esteem at school

  1. Respect the rhythm of the child. Children with learning difficulties need to be monitored diligently and patiently. We must be sure to respect their abilities. Moreover, for a child to be successful, it is important to have realistic goals with the certainty that they can reach them. In psycho education, we are talking about challenges that are graduated and proportional to the child’s abilities. In class, it is essential to adapt the requirements to the child’s skills.
  2. Provide tasks that are appropriate to the student’s abilities and strengths. Give the struggling child special responsibilities: take care of the class e-mail, take attendance, etc.
  3. Emphasize all efforts and consistently offer encouragement. It is essential that the child be recognized for his efforts, however small they may be.

    It is very important to value initiatives and creativity. A weaker school child can draw paintings or plans worthy of an architect. Try to make the most out of the strengths of the child with difficulties.

  4. Increase his sense of belonging to the school by encouraging the child to make friends at school, developing social skills, and having them deal with conflicts themselves. Strongly insist that he participate in extracurricular activities that interest him so that he develops a sense of attachment to his school.
  5. Plan an intervention plan adapted to the needs of the child. Make sure your child can benefit from additional supports at school if they have a diagnosis of a learning disability, language impairment or mental health. In addition, it is essential that he understands the usefulness of the means contained in the intervention plan. Involve him / her in the development of the means and regularly review the strategies developed with this one.
  6. Have a caring presence for the child. The teacher’s attitude clearly influences the child’s self-esteem and motivation. Thus, the teacher must be a driver of change and emphasize the quality of the relationship with his students.
  7. Plan a code with the child if the child is discouraged by a task. It may be interesting to identify a code that the child can use when he feels uncomfortable or wants to ask for help discreetly.
  8. Establish constant communication with parents. It is important to communicate to parents the good deeds of their child, whether in the diary or by email, so that the child feels recognition for his efforts.

Some activities to increase self-esteem at school
You can give a small box or paper bag to each student that they can personalize. Then, each student will have to write a quality, compliment or positive sentence on a piece of paper for each student in their class. Thereafter, the teacher will accumulate the small pieces of paper of each student and will deposit them in the bags or boxes of each one. It may be appropriate to read the messages to ensure that they are respectful.

  • Identify the student who did his best or persevered during the week with a special hat or scarf.
  • Celebratory chair! For your student’s birthday, ask him to sit in front of the class and everyone in the class tell him what makes him great and special.

Remember

  • Self-esteem is defined as the awareness of one’s strengths, difficulties and limitations.
  • A student with learning difficulties may have low self-esteem, which reduces motivation.
  • Parents can help their child’s self-esteem at home by giving them responsibilities commensurate with their abilities, spending time with them, and maintaining realistic expectations.
  • Teachers can also promote the child’s self-esteem, including valuing his efforts and working based on the kid’s pace.

Source used: Duclos, G. (2000). L’estime de soi : un passeport pour la vie, éditions Hôpital Sainte-Justine, Montréal.